The earth has returned to wickedness. I’m going to flood it and start again,” God told Noah. “Build another ark and start collecting two of every single living thing.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no boat.

“Where’s the ark?” God roared. “I’m about to start the rain.”

“Yeah, things have changed,” Noah said. “First, I needed a building permit. Then some group said it was inhumane to put the animals in such a close space. Then the authorities halted construction on the ark to first conduct an environmental impact study on the flood.”

Suddenly the dark rain clouds cleared and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

“You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?” Noah asked.

“What’s the point?” God said. “Looks like someone beat me to it.
Ref: E. Thompson


I arrived home after a busy morning of appointments. I’d gone to the hair salon to have my hair coloured, and then to the chiropractor. Walking in, I overheard my husband talking on the phone.

“She’s not here,” he said. “She’s gone out for a paint job and then a realignment.” 
Ref: Arlene Shovald